Never Trust A Fart

Or a 2nd grader who has been around that particular block.

She's Got a Bright Future Ahead of Her

Am breaking with traditon a little bit here but it's a note sent home with a 5 year old kindergartener and it's naughty, so here it is.

Nobody Loves You

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Ouch.

Making Her Parents Proud

I'm also not sure about "riping out my hair" but I think we can attribute that to youthful indiscretion.